Musings of a Conteur

End of Parenthood

2009-06-01T14:22:00.000+08:00

I am not yet a parent but am like one to my younger brother. Our current situation makes me ask, 'when does parenthood end?'. Is it after the child is born into this world? I think not, I have seen other parents who does not stop being a parent to their children until the day they die.

I am currently the one taking the responsibility of my parents. Earning for us both, making ends meet most especially for my younger brother to finish his education. I have assumed parenthood years ago when my parents parted ways. My dad seems not to care and my mom, I think, might still be in a state of depression (though their separation happened years ago). I am not blaming them for anything but I cannot help but ask 'have they forgotten that they still have children?'.

I don't want this post to be mainly a ranting or an angry outburst. I am wondering if how many others are there who are living the life of independence from parents not by choice but by circumstance.

Being a change maker

2009-05-30T01:33:00.003+08:00

I was looking through some of my notes because I needed to prepare for a coming TV show interview in one of our local TV stations. I will be one of the people to be interviewed about Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO). It will be just a very short appearance and question and answer portion but I prefer to be prepared mentally for it.

I don't want to appear scripted but I just needed some inspiration since for me, volunteering is wonderful and I want to express it in such a beautiful to inspire others as well. While poring through some of my old notes, I have come across this beautiful quotation.

"I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
and because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do something that I can do." - Helen Keller

I felt this wonderful feeling inside of me. I felt excitement on how I will be going to express what my thoughts about volunteering are. I want to share that volunteers are change makers. Change maker in their own ways whether it be big or small. It is about doing something or contributing something on the best of our abilities.

Unemployed but not jobless

2009-05-26T03:44:00.000+08:00

For me the word unemployed is not always equal in meaning to being jobless.

Although I know, looking at a dictionary, they are synonymous in meaning. I was able to come up with this statement because lately, I am unemployed in its real sense of meaning but am having a lot of stuff to do so that does not make me jobless.

I have been involved in a volunteer organization of which I am one of the pioneers or founders. We are a newly established organization. The name of our organization is Integrated Services for Education and Volunteer Efforts, Inc. (iSERVE) Iloilo. This group is a non-profit, non-political, non-sectarian volunteer group.

We are having a lot of activities lately such as medical missions. If you want to know more about them, you could check them out by clicking here.

Loving and letting go - expressed through song lyrics

2009-05-20T16:22:00.003+08:00

Idle moments often makes a person produce cheesy ideas.

I was able to produce this line-up of song lyrics that somehow summarizes the process of falling in love up to letting go. I believe that it's not always a 'they lived happily ever after', 'fairy-tale' ending for everyone. There are people who are kinda 'head-over-heels' in love with a person who does not give back the same amount of love he or she receives.

1.“Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you.” - Close to You by the Carpenters

2."He’s always on my mind, from the time I wake up ‘til I close my eyes. He’s everywhere I go…” - Heaven Knows by Carol Banawa (Filipina singer)

3.“Just when I thought I was safe, you found me in my hiding place. I promised never again I would give my heart but then closer, closer I moved near you the way I want you makes me fear you…”- Love Gives, Love Takes by the Corrs

4.“What can I do to make you mine? Fallen so hard, so fast this time… What did I say? What did you do? How did I fall in love with you?”- How Did I Fall in Love with You by Backstreet Boys

5.“You, doing that thing you do. Breaking my heart into a million pieces, like you always do. And you, don’t mean to be cruel, you never even knew about the heartaches I’ve been going through, Well I try and try to forget you (girl/boy), But it's just so hard to do…” - That Thing You Do by The Wonders

6.“ I want you to stay never go away from me stay forever. But now, now that you’re gone all I can do is pray for you to be here beside me again… and now I must move on trying to forget all the memories of you near me…”- Stay by Carol Banawa

7.“On my own pretending he’s beside me… I love him but everyday I’m learning all my life I’ve only been pretending. Without me, his world would go on turning…”- On My Own, Les Miserables OST by Lea Salonga

8.“I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love.”- Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley

9.“ But everything means nothing yeah, if I ain’t got you…”- If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys

10.“Now here it comes, the hardest part of all, unchain my heart that’s holding on… how do I start to live my life alone? Guess I’m just learning, learning the art of letting go…” - Art of Letting Go by Mikaila

11.“I try to smile so the hurt won’t show, tell everybody I was glad to see you go. But the tears just won’t go away, loneliness found me looks like it’s here to stay… I know I ought to find someone new but all I find is myself always thinking of you…”- I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me by Bellefire

12.“Goodbye to you… Goodbye to everything I thought I knew… You were the one I loved…The one thing that I tried to hold on to…” - Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch

Diaries

2009-05-19T16:37:00.002+08:00

I was having a lazy Sunday evening last 17 May 2009. I got into reading some entries from the diaries that I have kept since 2005.

Actually, boredom got me into reading my diaries. I was waiting for my favorite show to air on cable TV and I got tired of spending some time flicking through channels which shows reruns of movies that I have seen more than twice. I turned the TV off and went to my room to look for some magazines and or books to read but to my dismay, I have finished reading all of them, not only once. In short, I do not have the luxury of having other options on what I could do with my idle time.

While reading some entries, I can't help but laugh at the entries I have written in the past. Most of them were about guys, and my (kinda shallow) happy moments. Aside from having a laugh, I was also reminded of the lessons about life that I have learned in the past. What amuses me most is the fact that I have actually changed as a person. I have different views from then. I am more open-minded than the 'boxed' way of thinking that I have before.

I guess, spending some time to read my diaries is not that bad after all compared to my initial thought that it is a horrible activity to do. I am wondering, how many others out there are keeping diaries. How about you? Have you ever kept a diary even once in your lifetime? Have you tried looking at some of its pages lately? If you have, how was it? If not yet, would you even dare try?

A Volunteering Fairytale

2009-04-08T22:18:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who had this desire for volunteering. But this desire didn’t just pop out of the blue that poof! she wants to go do volunteering. That desire was slowly cultivated as our heroine goes through life’s adventures.
It all started when she was sixteen, it was a very dark and trying time for her and her family that she had to leave her Father’s house in order to be safe from the perils that endanger her. Our girl was really lucky to have a spinster aunt who adopted her during her last year in high school. This aunt of her served as her inspiration to do good things for other people because she was a very helpful person despite her illness, which is breast cancer.

Then time came that our young girl has to move on to another phase of her life, college. She has to leave her aunt’s abode and set off to another journey in a far away land, Miagao, Iloilo. She studied in the University of the Philippines Visayas and while studying did extra curricular activities and helped in various organizations. She became very active in the University. But life wasn’t that kind to her. Her family experienced some problems with finances urging her to stop with her academics to find a job.

It wasn’t long before our girl was hired on a Phone English Tutorial job. She met various people in that office and one of them was her volunteering godmother who brought her in her every adventure doing medical mission all over the land of Panay. She then was introduced to Iloilo Coalition of NGOs and POs where she worked as a volunteer. Here she met a noble man who encouraged her to join Global Xchange. After some considerations, our young volunteer decided to apply for that program.

The Global Xchange Program chooses only nine (9) Filipino youth volunteers that they will pair with nine (9) British youth volunteers. Last July 2008, out of more than fifty (50) applicants from all over the Philippines, our girl was selected as part of the eighteen (18) who would participate in the Assessment Day that would be held in Manila. The eighteen (18) youth volunteer applicants were chosen carefully and each came from various regions in the Philippines. During the Assessment Day, the applicants have to go through series of interviews and tests. A week later via phone call, our young volunteer was very happy to know that she was chosen as one of the nine (9) youth volunteers who would join Team 76.

In the land called Oxford, our young girl joined seventeen other young volunteers, nine from all over the UK and eight other from the Philippines. They were organized into cross cultural counterpart pairs, team 76 was born and their GX Journey officially begins. The next step on their journey was to meet their host families.

Aside from having to meet her host family, our young volunteer has to face also the serious part of her GX Journey, work in her volunteer placement. She and another British work counterpart spent four days in a week of their three months in the UK working for Brandon Trust. The pair worked on the Life stories project for people with learning disabilities in the trust. With this they have explored the nursing homes of the trust and tried to interview people with different range of learning disabilities. While working on that, our volunteer has to work on another simultaneous project for the trust which is to capture on film what the Training units consisting of the farm, pottery, garden and wood work center are about. They filmed for days and days, rain or shine, warm or freezing temperature.

The fifth day of the week is spent with their teammates trying to learn new things by engaging in active learning with topics that range from religion, to permaculture, asylum seekers in the UK, fair-trade, and other global issues and issues about peace and development. Their other free time are either spent on Community Action Days, helping people in their host community, and or exploring more about the British culture and their counterparts through Socials activities. After three months in the UK, the team flew to Davao City to continue their volunteer work, this time with new host families and work placement. Our little girl had the opportunity to explore Mt. Sicao and learn about the culture of the Bagobo-Jangan tribe. She was able to work for an organization making handmade paper out of durian husks and other indigenous materials.

But all too soon, the curtain fell on our young volunteer’s GX Story and it was time for their team to go after six months of volunteer work, three months in the UK and three in Davao City. Where is our young volunteer now? She is no other than the writer of this story, me.

*presented during the National Volunteers Summit in Guimaras, Philippines last April 1, 2009.

Musings about life and love

2009-03-09T22:04:00.001+08:00

Life is a journey wherein you acquire more wisdom as you go further.

Being in a volunteering program for 6 months, going to a foreign country, meeting new people and meeting old friends again, and staying in it for a few months had totally made a difference. I have my ups and downs while walking through the first phase of the program but one thing constant is the learning I acquire in each stop.

I learned that experience is still the best teacher. I’m writing about love as I usually do. It’s amazing to see what I have written before and contemplate on them. I’ve had twisted ideologies about love when I was in high school. I came to a point where I have thought of having love relationships are crap because of my heart breaks. Then I found out that there is no point in sulking around.

I’m quite okay now with the fact that I’ve had past relationships because I have learned what my failures are, what my shortcomings are in those experience. I’m happy to have talked about love and their loved ones with some people wherein I realized every person’s love story is unique so I should not even try comparing myself.

I believe in the saying, “The heart must have its time of snow, to rest in silence and then to grow.” My heart is now resting in silence, enjoying singlehood. I sometimes think of breaking that silence but I know forcing it will be like suicide. Right timing is essential. It means I’m not the one who could make it. That would be considered forcing. I must let everything grow in its own time. “Everything happens in its own season”.

I should wait patiently and while waiting, try to become a better person for that special someone. When I say being a better person for that special someone, I mean being the best you can be where you stay true to your heart and yourself. That, I think, is the only way to become the best that you can be as a person, by enriching your personality or your character. It might require you to perfect your skills or acquire new skills. It might require you to accept new beliefs and or discard your beliefs.

I’m not being idealistic or anything because I am aiming to be more open-minded as time goes. I just think that when true love comes, everything would fall into their rightful places. It might not be obvious at the beginning, you might even find yourself questioning about a lot of things, but I’m quite sure once it’s there you will find the words compromise or sacrifice is not as cumbersome as it seems.

Secret of the Magic Gourd

2009-02-10T22:01:00.001+08:00


'There's nothing more satisfying as you gain success and know that it's all because you worked really hard for it.' Morning of 8 February 2009. After eating breakfast, I decided to switch on the telly since I was a bit lazy to start doing laundry. I turned to Disney Channel. The film ' The Secret of the Magic Gourd is just about to start. After a few seconds of consideration, I decided to sit down and finish watching the film first before doing my laundry. The movie tells the story of a young 11-year-old boy named Raymond. He seems to be someone who has vivid imagination but not a lot of motivation. His family, classmates, and teacher are frustrated with his lack-of-dedication attitude. He is someone who wishes he could have everything that he wants even without lifting a finger. One day, while fishing, he reels in the legendary Magic Gourd -- a powerful vegetable who can grant any wish that his heart desires, as long as Raymond doesn't tell anyone about him. The Gourd gave him the things that he wanted and helped him achieve his goals. It isn't long before he discovers (after a series of mishaps) that getting everything you want isn't all that great. The boy learned his lesson the hard way. He already brought shame to his family and embarrassment to himself. Decided to change everyone's view of him, he decided to turn over a new leaf and start working to achieve his own success. The film inspired me to work harder and it helped me reflect on my performance as a person. It sounds great if you could just have all your wishes in a flick of a finger but I think you might end up having a lot of insecurities and guilt. I believe films for kids teaching good morals could still serve as an inspiration or learning tool for adults.