End of Parenthood

I am not yet a parent but am like one to my younger brother. Our current situation makes me ask, 'when does parenthood end?'. Is it after the child is born into this world? I think not, I have seen other parents who does not stop being a parent to their children until the day they die.

I am currently the one taking the responsibility of my parents. Earning for us both, making ends meet most especially for my younger brother to finish his education. I have assumed parenthood years ago when my parents parted ways. My dad seems not to care and my mom, I think, might still be in a state of depression (though their separation happened years ago). I am not blaming them for anything but I cannot help but ask 'have they forgotten that they still have children?'.

I don't want this post to be mainly a ranting or an angry outburst. I am wondering if how many others are there who are living the life of independence from parents not by choice but by circumstance.

Being a change maker

I was looking through some of my notes because I needed to prepare for a coming TV show interview in one of our local TV stations. I will be one of the people to be interviewed about Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO). It will be just a very short appearance and question and answer portion but I prefer to be prepared mentally for it.

I don't want to appear scripted but I just needed some inspiration since for me, volunteering is wonderful and I want to express it in such a beautiful to inspire others as well. While poring through some of my old notes, I have come across this beautiful quotation.

"I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
and because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do something that I can do." - Helen Keller

I felt this wonderful feeling inside of me. I felt excitement on how I will be going to express what my thoughts about volunteering are. I want to share that volunteers are change makers. Change maker in their own ways whether it be big or small. It is about doing something or contributing something on the best of our abilities.

Unemployed but not jobless

For me the word unemployed is not always equal in meaning to being jobless.

Although I know, looking at a dictionary, they are synonymous in meaning. I was able to come up with this statement because lately, I am unemployed in its real sense of meaning but am having a lot of stuff to do so that does not make me jobless.

I have been involved in a volunteer organization of which I am one of the pioneers or founders. We are a newly established organization. The name of our organization is Integrated Services for Education and Volunteer Efforts, Inc. (iSERVE) Iloilo. This group is a non-profit, non-political, non-sectarian volunteer group.

We are having a lot of activities lately such as medical missions. If you want to know more about them, you could check them out by clicking here.

Loving and letting go - expressed through song lyrics

Idle moments often makes a person produce cheesy ideas.

I was able to produce this line-up of song lyrics that somehow summarizes the process of falling in love up to letting go. I believe that it's not always a 'they lived happily ever after', 'fairy-tale' ending for everyone. There are people who are kinda 'head-over-heels' in love with a person who does not give back the same amount of love he or she receives.

1.“Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you.” - Close to You by the Carpenters

2."He’s always on my mind, from the time I wake up ‘til I close my eyes. He’s everywhere I go…” - Heaven Knows by Carol Banawa (Filipina singer)

3.“Just when I thought I was safe, you found me in my hiding place. I promised never again I would give my heart but then closer, closer I moved near you the way I want you makes me fear you…”- Love Gives, Love Takes by the Corrs

4.“What can I do to make you mine? Fallen so hard, so fast this time… What did I say? What did you do? How did I fall in love with you?”- How Did I Fall in Love with You by Backstreet Boys

5.“You, doing that thing you do. Breaking my heart into a million pieces, like you always do. And you, don’t mean to be cruel, you never even knew about the heartaches I’ve been going through, Well I try and try to forget you (girl/boy), But it's just so hard to do…” - That Thing You Do by The Wonders

6.“ I want you to stay never go away from me stay forever. But now, now that you’re gone all I can do is pray for you to be here beside me again… and now I must move on trying to forget all the memories of you near me…”- Stay by Carol Banawa

7.“On my own pretending he’s beside me… I love him but everyday I’m learning all my life I’ve only been pretending. Without me, his world would go on turning…”- On My Own, Les Miserables OST by Lea Salonga

8.“I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love.”- Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley

9.“ But everything means nothing yeah, if I ain’t got you…”- If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys

10.“Now here it comes, the hardest part of all, unchain my heart that’s holding on… how do I start to live my life alone? Guess I’m just learning, learning the art of letting go…” - Art of Letting Go by Mikaila

11.“I try to smile so the hurt won’t show, tell everybody I was glad to see you go. But the tears just won’t go away, loneliness found me looks like it’s here to stay… I know I ought to find someone new but all I find is myself always thinking of you…”- I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me by Bellefire

12.“Goodbye to you… Goodbye to everything I thought I knew… You were the one I loved…The one thing that I tried to hold on to…” - Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch

Diaries

I was having a lazy Sunday evening last 17 May 2009. I got into reading some entries from the diaries that I have kept since 2005.

Actually, boredom got me into reading my diaries. I was waiting for my favorite show to air on cable TV and I got tired of spending some time flicking through channels which shows reruns of movies that I have seen more than twice. I turned the TV off and went to my room to look for some magazines and or books to read but to my dismay, I have finished reading all of them, not only once. In short, I do not have the luxury of having other options on what I could do with my idle time.

While reading some entries, I can't help but laugh at the entries I have written in the past. Most of them were about guys, and my (kinda shallow) happy moments. Aside from having a laugh, I was also reminded of the lessons about life that I have learned in the past. What amuses me most is the fact that I have actually changed as a person. I have different views from then. I am more open-minded than the 'boxed' way of thinking that I have before.

I guess, spending some time to read my diaries is not that bad after all compared to my initial thought that it is a horrible activity to do. I am wondering, how many others out there are keeping diaries. How about you? Have you ever kept a diary even once in your lifetime? Have you tried looking at some of its pages lately? If you have, how was it? If not yet, would you even dare try?